


Sorry.

by Knife_Consumer



Series: Found family au 🐌🐌 [3]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Crying, Cuddling, Dib is briefly mentioned, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, gaz is actually pretty nice, irkens are generally terrible to everyone, omg omg pillow pile time, zim has baaaad trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:28:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29164974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knife_Consumer/pseuds/Knife_Consumer
Summary: Skoodge returned from whatever it was he was doing in space, and of course, Zim was happy.Something wasn't quite right though.Zim couldn't shake the feeling that something needed to be done.
Relationships: Invader Skoodge/Zim
Series: Found family au 🐌🐌 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106297
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Sorry.

Skoodge grabbed a few extra cushions from Gaz's closet, adding them to his neat little nest of blankets pillows at the far corner of the room. Zim stood in the doorway, still watching in disbelief at the sight of the other invader. Not even an hour ago, he was sitting on the couch, alone, moping as he usually did.

But now Skoodge was here. He was back.

And most importantly, the greatest thing Zim had been offered in a long time, something he'd dreamed and yearned for, time and time again-- Skoodge had asked to cuddle with him. A silent gesture, in which he'd scooted closer to Zim, to the point that their arms were firmly pressed together.

Originally, they were going to sit in the living room, but that felt too open. So then they went to Dib's room (which really belonged to Zim, he just got to use it during the day).  
Awful, horrible idea. Not only did Dib emideatly bombard Skoodge with questions about why he was here, Skoodge also had to keep the two from clawing eachother's eyes out.

And now, they were with Gaz. She sat on her bed at the other side of the room, doing her homework and ocassionaly sparing a glance at the two. Skoodge paused for a moment.   
Was she bothered by this? From times before the florpus, Skoodge recalled Zim ranting about how Dib was an annoying worm, and had somehow turned the conversation to his sister. With what Zim had told him, it was clear that if she had something to say she would've said it by now.

Satisfied, he stepped back to admire his work. A cozy little pillow bowl, lined with tattered purple and black blankets. Warm, and the perfect size for him and Zim to share. Turning to the doorway, he saw Zim, still standing, still lost on what to do.

His expression was odd. It was obvious that he was elated with the other's return. Happy little shivers of his antenna and barely audible chirps- which had been much, much louder when Skoodge had first arrived.   
But though he was happy, his lips were locked in a stern line, and he almost aggressively picked at his uniform, something he only did when stressed.

"Zim?"  
At the mention of his name, the picking stopped and his expression loosened to something neutral.

"Hmph?"  
They held eye contact. For how long, Skoodge didn't know. But it was pleasant, he wouldn't mind just staying like this.   
There was something better he could do, though.  
Moving slowly, Skoodge crawled into the nest, silently asking Zim to follow, to which he did.

Laying on their sides, facing eachother, Zim settled himself as Skoodge grabbed one of the many blankets and tossed it over them with a pak leg. The blanket was thick, but not to the point where it was uncomfortable. Just soft and warm. Zim shifted a bit, hiding under it further until only eyes and above were visible, refusing to look away from Skoodge. Silently asking to be held, as his pride wouldn't let him say it out loud.

Skoodge obliged, gently wrapping his arms around the other and moving closer, letting contented chirps make themselves known.   
But Zim didn't chirp.   
He didn't even smile.

At first, Skoodge thought he was just tired. As hyper as Zim was, it wouldn't be a suprise if he'd managed to tucker himself out. So Skoodge let himself relax. Closing his eyes and petting the back of Zim's head.   
Still no chirping.  
... Was he doing something wrong?

Skoodge looked to him with concern, opening his mouth to speak. Before he could even take a breath, Zim whimpered,   
"Why did you leave Zim?..."  
He stopped in his tracks, the tone in the smaller's voice unheard of.   
He sounded so... just... quiet.   
Shakey and vulnerable.  
Disturbingly unlike how he usually acted.

Skoodge looked down at him, worry plauging him at the sight. Zim was clinging to him, a distant, fearful look in his eyes. What was usaully a vibrant, strong magenta was now faded and dark. Glistening with tears that threatened to spill.

Skoodge shifted only slightly.  
"Zim, what-"

"DON'T. plea-"  
Zim choked up, squinting his eyes as tears dropped to the plush below, squeezing Skoodge as tight as he could.  
"Don't go again... please please please don't goooo..."  
Guilt and shame hit him like a bus when Zim sobbed harder, burying his face into Skoodge's chest.

Gaz tapped her pencil against her paper harshly to catch Skoodge's attention.  
Her eyes weren't squinted like usual, and her brows had furrowed slightly. She frowned and pointed her thumb to the door, talking without sound.

'Should I go?'

He nodded.  
'Please do.'

The rustling of papers could be heard as Zim clinged even tighter, muffling his sobs against Skoodge. The taller of the two stroking Zim's antenna, doing everything he could to put him at ease.  
Gaz had gathered up her stuff, giving them a concerned glance before gently closing the door.

They were alone now.

The only noise left in the room being Zim's cries and pleas.  
What was he supposed to do? He'd never delt with something such as this before, the empire only training him for circumstances of combat. It taught him to be ruthless, uncaring.   
But it never stuck.  
Years in academy, wasted.   
He hadn't even learned how to properly comfort those who needed it most.

Zim sniffeled, trying to cuddle closer than he already was. Skoodge just lay there, rubbing below his pak and letting him do as he pleased.  
Maybe he needed silence, that could be it.  
Zim just needed a little quiet time with him. Or at least, that's what he thought Zim needed- he didn't know for sure.  
He should say something... once Zim calms down a bit.  
IF he calmed down.

Another strangled sob.

He grew increasingly worried by the minute as Zim's small body shook.   
"Zim I didn't-"  
How should he word this?...  
He'd just realized the weight of his actions, how he had left Zim at his most vulnerable.  
Much like how the empire had dumped them both, Zim for his defectiveness, and Skoodge for the same reason along with appearance.  
How had he not known sooner?  
He was no better than anyone else, even though he never had ill intent, he'd left Zim alone to rot.  
"I didn't mean to hurt you..."

Zim looked up at him, tears still spilling out from his eyes.   
A more unforgiving side of Skoodge's pak told him to feel no remorse, no sensible Irken cried, that it Zim's own fault he felt that way.  
But Skoodge knew better. The lies that were programmed into him from 'birth' were easily seen past, although they were persistent in bothering him.  
Zim took a moment, clearly trying to steady his voice into something that could be understood.

"Then why?..."  
Zim tried wiping away some of his tears, which were only replaced by new ones.  
"Why- Why did you leave?..."

"I..." why did he leave? He had to dig deep into memory files to find a reason. One that made him angry with himself upon reviewing it.   
He left because Zim had called of his plan of conquering Urth.  
"I got bored." Wait no! Shit, he'd said the wrong thing.  
"Hold on, I didn't!-"

"Zim... bored you?" A heartbroken whine could be heard as he clutched at Skoodge's collar, pleading and bargaining for forgiveness.   
"It will not happen again, I assure you!"  
He sobbed more as Skoodge hugged him tight.  
"Zim can entertain! I can!"

"Shh, no, Zim. That's... that's not what I meant, I worded it wrong."  
Stroking Zim's antenna, he listened as he chirped between shuddering cries, trying to think of what he could possibly say.  
"I meant... I wasn't thinking when I left. I was only thinking of the mission." Zim looked up to him, sad and hopeful.   
"I know now that... that the empire doesn't care what I do. No matter what I accomplish, they aren't going to care. I remembered that shortly after I left. Having the mindset of an invader... even though I'm good at it, it will never work out for me."  
Skoodge sighed, tears building up behind his eyes. But he couldn't cry. Zim needed his comfort, crying would only stress him out more. 

He couldn't say anything else, not trusting his own voice at the moment. All he could do was lay there with him. Just laying with Zim was doing enough, as no other Irken in the universe would even think of doing so.  
Cruel.  
Irkens were horribly, terribly cruel. Deep down Skoodge had always known this. Having seen the atrocities Irkens would force upon races minding their own business. Vortians, Snaivies, Noyings. Just a few who had needlessly suffered that he could name off the top of his head.   
And seeing Zim, he knew that their cruelty didn't end at terrorizing others. They went after their own kind, for no reason other than they could.

The label of defective having been made to divide them, if a defective were to acomplish more than a "perfect" Irken, they'd either be ignored or accused of some horrible crime.   
Any Irkens of sound mind recognizing the unfair treatment would be deemed defective as well.

Yet in Zim's case, possibly the worst defect in the history of Irk, everyone except Skoodge had agreed he deserved his harsh treatment.  
And he could understand why others were so quick to judge. Zim had caused both of the Horrible Painful Overload days. And he had single-handedly destroyed Impending Doom One, killing hundreds in the process.  
But at the same time, he was mainly unaware of the destruction he caused. Oblivious to the pain he inflicted on others, unless he'd done so intentionally.  
He just couldn't control it. 

It was just unfair. Skoodge came to the conclusion and continued to pet Zim. The empire's teachings were so, so wrong. And because they were so awful, he just decided to ignore the rules. All of them.  
He closed his eyes and smiled to himself at the thought. If he were to do this on Irk, he'd be executed within a second for encouraging a defect. But this WASN'T Irk. He could do whatever he pleased, and so could Zim.

Speaking of Zim, he had calmed down a bit. Sobs had gone down to sniffles as he tried to stop crying and relax. He sighed, notably less stressed. "Skoodge?"

He peered at Zim, antenna perking up slightly to show he was listening. "Hmm?"

He took a moment, figuring out how to put his thoughts into words. He opened his mouth, closed it, scratched the side of his face, opened it again, and then-   
"I would like to say- no, you will accept my- grhh..."  
Zim growled at nothing, squeezing Skoodge's sides a bit too tight.  
"Zim would like to-- ugh! You... thh. Thhhan-k y-"  
He smiled down at Zim as he buried his face Skoodge's chest, embarrassed. "Your company is acceptable, Skoodge. Be grateful for reciving Zim's praise."

Skoodge smiled wide, carefully touching Zim's antenna. Delighted as he listened to the few chirps he got out of the other. Indulging in Zim's superiority complex, he spoke up,   
"Yeah. I'm very greatful."

Zim grinned and lazily pushed his head further up into the touches. Skoodge let his eyes close again, feeling more drowsy by the minute.   
"It's an honor, Zim. Thank you..."


End file.
